BIO
Esteban Rodríguez is the author of Dusk & Dust (Hub City Press, 2019). His poetry has appeared in various publications, including The Gettysburg Review, New England Review, Hayden’s Ferry Review, Water~Stone Review, Washington Square Review, and Puerto del Sol. A native of the Rio Grande Valley, he currently lives with his family and teaches in Austin, Texas.
Dickies
When they
weren’t standing shirtless
on the
porch, weren’t settling scores
on the
sidewalk or yard, your cousins
were near
a barbecue pit, like elders
at a
church social, bottles in hands,
maldiciones,
as your mother liked to warn,
drooling
from their mouths. If you got close,
you’d spot
slivers of inked eagles,
serpents,
cactuses, or of Old English font
of their
last names splayed across their chests
or backs, so
predictable, and yet so proud,
so
thorough with what they wore, aware
that when
they chose their dark blue,
black and
brown shirts and pants,
they were
not merely thinking of size,
dimensions,
but of cohesion, as one part
of the
whole, as a reminder that Dickies
added to
their goatees, shaved heads,
to a
lifestyle filled with lowriders, gold chains,
secret
handshakes and black Cortez’s
that made
it seem they were trying hard
to be
clichés. Or was it you that tried
to portray
them as such? Who couldn’t see
beyond their
clothes? Who didn’t want
to believe
that they too could be complex?
Because
unlike them, you were the boy
with
cartoon shirts, blue-jean shorts,
hair cleanly
parted, standing on the sidelines,
waiting to
be invited. And when you were,
you again
realized nothing about you
would
change, that there’d be no tube socks
and
sandals, no webbed belt cinched
above the
waist, and no reason
to linger
in the driveway at night,
shoot
every car that passes by
your most
territorial of stares.
Primer poema para ti
I like to touch your scars in complete
darkness, the ones from fences,
sun-scorched collars, from chains
and the bottom of my father’s
steel toes, or from the strays that roam
the alleyways, scavenge the moon-
and lamp-polished ground for creatures
to feast on, settling, when the time
comes around to settle, on your legs,
your ribs, on that space behind your neck
I kiss and rub my cheeks against,
and where I've placed my hands,
thinking I could heal your gashes,
mend your flesh; no need
for paper towels, rags, to improvise
my mother's prayers, or for me
to carry you behind the shed, where,
after each attack, I'd pour my breath
onto your mangled jaw, and let my shadow –
so soft and thin – spill on your mange
and knotted hair, and on every cut
I brought myself to touch, knowing
that with every jolt and squeal,
I would touch them, trying.